M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I see more hoeing in ur future
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
