Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
