Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
