We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The power of my boobs compel you
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
