That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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