called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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