why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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