u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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