i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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