Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
