Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
do herpes really smell.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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