I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize