Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
