The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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