What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
