so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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