I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
