i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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