i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
