That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sex in a hospital.. check
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
