Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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