either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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