I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
