NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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