TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
