i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My life is pants optional.
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