I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
