Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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