I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
