Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
