Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
