fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
