And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Is it penis luge time yet?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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