I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize