what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
