yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
