Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
