4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
