Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm just crazy horny about you
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize