I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
