First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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