my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
