He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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