You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I love having hate sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
