Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
