I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
