Me too!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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