im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
