You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
