yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
