Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
