I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
