Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
