Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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