Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
