What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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