My hand turned me down
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
