Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize