Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
two words...techno handjob
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
