i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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