dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
