I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
