addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
