You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
