He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
