I think I can smell my own vagina right now
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
