i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
