Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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