He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
