Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
